When you’ve been married for a few years
Mike and I have been together for over 20 years. We’ve seen some challenging times together not to mention 4 kids and a move across the country. After many years I’ve found there is one thing that is easy to forget.
*This tips is a bonus addition to this series.
My spouse is my oasis.
Currently there is a list of things that Mike and I need to do. And a to do list I need to get done, too. There are days when I treat Mike more like my assistant than my husband; expecting us both to be more productive or efficient machines rather than two people who are in love and enjoy one another.
It’s definitely more fun and more energizing to see Mike as an oasis for me. A person who I’m rejuvenated by just being with him rather than someone who can get my ‘to do’ list done for me.
Shifting gears toward a more appreciative outlook and either creating more downtime or not filling up space with more chores can help you each have the time and space to be an oasis for each other.
How to be an oasis for your spouse:
*Be unexpectedly affectionate. Go beyond the quick peck on the cheek when they leave for work. In the kitchen put your arms around them, wait at the top of the stairs and turn around and hug them. The surprise is the best part.
*Sit on the couch sans phones and devices. Let all distractions fade away. No movies or phone calls or Facebook updates. A tall glass of lemonade or warm milk and just the two of you.
*Find little ways to make their day better-throw his towel in the dryer to warm it up while she’s in the shower, pull him into the laundry room and lay a long kiss on him
*Plan a fun night out as a surprise, go out when they are least expecting it. If you usually go out on Friday night. Text your spouse on a Tuesday night saying: I got a babysitter and I’m whisking you away.
*Choose one day each month (maybe the 10th) to be the day when you make your spouses day by doing every pampering, lovely, wonderful thing you can think of for them.
*Be friends. Treat each other like you would treat your best friend. Be their best friend.
*Greet your spouse during the day like seeing them is the best thing that’s happened all day!
Being an oasis for your spouse is one of the many things I talk about in Better Together.