You’re busy preparing for another busy week when you get a call from your partner who drops the bombshell: they want a divorce. Your life suddenly turns upside down in an instant, and you can’t believe this is happening to you. You look at the house, your life together, and can’t imagine how you’ll get through it.
The first thing to do is take a step back and give yourself some time to process what has happened. The news is a lot to take in, and you need time to mourn the relationship you thought would last forever. Then, it’s time to take action. But what do you do first? Here are some important tips.
Equip Yourself With a Legal Team
Even though you’re going through many conflicting emotions, you need to get your legal ducks in a row. Get an attorney to help you through the process and protect your interests. Find a professional such as divorce lawyer Thomas Stahl who will help you through this tough time. You’ll have more confidence knowing you have someone fighting for you.
Talk to People Who Were In Similar Situations
Understand that you’re not alone in this. Talk to people who have been through a divorce, and find out what helped them get through it. Divorce can be an incredibly isolating experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your family and friends for support; they will want to help you in any way they can.
If possible, join a divorce support group to get help and connect with others going through the same thing. More importantly, learn what helped them move forward and create an even better life. Strive to achieve your own happiness as well.
Keep a Journal
Start documenting your thoughts and feelings. Doing so is a great way to track your progress and see how you heal over time. It can also be a source of comfort to go back and read your thoughts from when you were first dealing with the divorce.
Although it’s a difficult time, it’s also a time of growth. You’re learning how to cope with something you never thought you would have to. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself; you’re going through a lot.
Focus On Your Dreams
Marriage is just one chapter in your life. Don’t lose sight of the dreams you have for yourself. Remember, you are not your relationship; you are much more than that. Start planning for your future and what you want it to look like. This can be a great time to focus on yourself and do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do. Travel, take a class, or start that project you’ve been putting off. You’re still alive and have a lot of living to do. Embrace it.
Release the Past
Holding on to the past will only keep you stuck in pain. Let go of what happened and move on. The sooner you can release the anger, hurt, and resentment, the faster you will heal. This doesn’t mean you forget what happened, but find a way to forgive and move on. The past is in the past; it can’t change. All you can do is focus on the present and make the best future for yourself.
Understand That You’re Worthy of Love
Understandably, you’ll wish that it was all a bad dream, but ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who no longer wants you. You’re worthy of love, and there are people out there who will want to be with you.
It’s time to start thinking about who you want to be with and what type of relationship you want next, when you’re ready. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. Let the previous relationship be a lesson in what you don’t want.
A Divorce Is Not a Loss
It’s hard to accept a divorce when you don’t want it. You’re left feeling confused, hurt, and alone. But remember that you’re not alone in this. There are people to help you get through it. Additionally, understand that the divorce is not always a loss. You’re gaining a new chapter in your life and an opportunity to find someone who is right for you. Embrace this time and focus on your dreams for the future. You will get through this.
