I am spending the entirety of today in my comfy house dress, making the simplest of meals, and mainly on the couch. Two days ago, I had a nasty flare-up of my gastritis and spent the day in some pretty terrible pain. This was compounded by getting my period, which also came with a menstrual migraine that dogged me all day yesterday and is lingering still today, though not so bad. That’s all, of course, on top of my usual aches and pains associated with some chronic health conditions. So, even though there is a very long list of things that really do need my attention, I’m settling in on the couch! For the whole day!
Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t always easy to take the time that my body needs. Honestly, it’s often extremely difficult, but because trying to rest and then stressing all day does me no good, I dig my heels in and insist on enjoying my rest. Every time those thoughts pop up about how I should be doing this thing or that thing, that this chore really needs to be done today, or I should prepare that thing for tomorrow, I tell myself ‘No!’ and imagine pushing those thoughts right out of my head with a little bulldozer. I’m glad I have my little bulldozer, and I’m equally glad I’m putting it to good use, instead of ignoring what my body is asking for, which is what I usually do, and what most of us usually do.
Now that I’m forty, I find that I can no longer ignore my body. It’s something that I’ve known was coming for a long time, because I’ve been downright abusive to this little body over the last ten years. I bet you can relate to this, but since the birth of my daughter (ten years ago now) I have rarely gotten the sleep I should have, and I was blessed with a baby that was a great sleeper! She’s still a fantastic sleeper, but there always seems to be some reason that I don’t get the sleep I need, though in reality, it came down to me not prioritising it. My husband was recently researching the long-term effects of not getting enough sleep, and it’s shocking, confronting, and motivating. He’s been helping me lately to get the sleep I really need, and I’m loving it!
If you’re anything like me, self-care can be a difficult thing to prioritise. Parents have a laundry list (sometimes literally!) of responsibilities, and often place themselves at the bottom of the list. I do it too, for sure, but in the long run it’s really not good for you. That’s why it’s so good if you can enlist the aid of your spouse or perhaps a friend or even your own parents to help you with looking out for yourself. Sometimes I’ll push myself to keep going, to keep ignoring what my body is telling me, but my husband will see me and know that my back is acting up, and what I really need is a good, extended sit on the couch. Thankfully, he reminds me to sit and rest. The more he did this, the more I learned to do it for myself, too, and to take a break when I needed it.
There’s a Bluey episode called Whale Watching where the girls want to play but Chilli and Bandit are too ‘tired’ (I think hungover is more accurate) to play. Still, in the end, they relent and play with the girls… and whilst that’s lovely for the girls, it’s not a good take-away message for real-world parents who aren’t cartoon dogs. Some days, flopping on the couch and watching Golden Girls all day is all you’ve got in you, and that’s okay! It’s okay to not be Super Mum or Dad for a day and to listen to your body, because it’ll thank you in the long run, and so will your kids, because you’re modelling to them self-worth, and that self-care is self-love!
