When you marry someone, you don’t marry them with the expectation you’re going to divorce them someday. You marry them with the expectation that your loved one, your partner, is going to be there for life. You love them, you grow with them, and you experience all of the challenges in life together. So having to get to a point where you both are no longer in a relationship, a partnership can be horrible, devastating, and honestly, no words can really describe the feeling.
Simply put, it’s painful, especially if it’s a divorce that you’re not even wanting. But regardless, as painful as this is, you have to go through it, and it’s best you go through with it. At this point, the relationship is ruined beyond repair, and you deserve the next phase of your life. With that said, that doesn’t mean you should be a doormat- especially if you were one in your marriage. In fact, with a divorce, you’re most likely going to have to fight tooth and nail. So, here’s how you can stand your ground during a divorce.
It All Starts with Staying Calm
Is it hard trying to stay calm? Yeah, you bet; even when you have the best family lawyer around, it’s still going to be tough. But you need to have a clear mind; you need to be in control of your emotions. It’s one of the hardest things that anyone can do, but you absolutely need to be calm for all of this.
If you’re in a heated argument or your spouse is badmouthing you to the kids or family members, it can be tempting to respond in kind. However, this will only make things worse. It’s also important to remember that divorce is a legal process. You should never get caught up in “getting even” with your spouse or trying to manipulate them to gain a financial advantage. Just try your best to stay calm through all of it.
Always Reject the Trial Separation
You should especially do this if the other spouse was the one who wanted to divorce in the first place. Many couples who are considering divorce agree to a trial separation in hopes that it will improve their relationship. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. In fact, a trial separation can actually hurt your chances of a successful divorce.
One of the biggest issues that arise with a trial separation is the lack of communication between spouses. It is crucial to discuss the purpose of separation and establish goals. You don’t want to bend over backward, and you don’t want them to think they’re the ones in control of the situation. Honestly, it can have the potential to end badly for you.
Compromise Becomes a Double-Edged Sword
You may have heard that compromise is important in a marriage, but it can also be destructive during a divorce. The reality is that most individuals must compromise to reach a settlement in their divorce cases. Now, when divorcing, you are better off having a calm discussion and having lawyers involved. Screaming matches or trying to “win” is only going to ruin everything. Try not to budge for certain things, but remember that at the end of the day, it’s usually the court that’s going to decide the outcome.
