Escaping an abusive relationship is extremely difficult. It can take years before it happens, and even then, it doesn’t make the situation any easier. For women who have children with the abuser, things are even more difficult as there is no such thing as a clean break. You are tied to the abuser through your child or children. So, what are the best ways to cope after finally getting out? Here are some steps you may want to take.
Speak to a Lawyer Immediately
There is no doubt you’re feeling a huge array of emotions right now and it’s important to work through them, but first on the to-do list should be to speak to an experienced domestic abuse claims lawyer. Domestic abuse can lead to imprisonment, and you may be eligible for compensation if you have sustained any injuries. Because this is such a sensitive, difficult and emotional situation to go through, you also need a lawyer who is understanding, listens well and offers compassion.
Even if you don’t think you have a valid claim, it’s still wise to speak to a lawyer. Victims often remain silent, but that doesn’t help them to cope or aid in their recovery process. A consultation with a lawyer is a great opportunity to get a feel for them and determine if they are the right person to represent you.
A Support System Will Prove Essential
Surrounding yourself with a strong support system will be essential as you deal with your emotions and potential injuries. A support system can include family and friends, but because domestic abuse is so serious it should also include professionals. This can include medical professionals such as your doctor, a therapist, local or online support groups, a coach or personal trainer to help you feel empowered, and more. If you don’t have anyone close to you that you can talk to, there are domestic abuse and violence hotlines and organizations that you can contact.
And it’s not just you to worry about; your kids will also need a support system of their own. Domestic violence affects kids even if they weren’t the direct victim of the abuse. This means speaking to a children’s therapist, their doctor, support groups for kids who have lived through domestic abuse, and so forth.
Speak to Your Children About What Happens Next
This can be a difficult step because what’s next is still probably unclear. The first thing to do is find a safe and secure place for you and your children, and once there you can take it one day at a time. It’s okay to be honest that you don’t have all the answers, and you don’t know what’s going to happen next, but be clear that they are safe and secure with you and that life won’t return to what it was – the abuse has stopped. It can also be helpful to get them involved in community programs that feel ‘normal’, such as a sports team or local classes. It shows them that life is going to move forward more calmly.
Escaping an abusive relationship is a massive step, but it’s not the final step. Using these tips will help you to focus on a better future for yourself and your kids.
