Parenting tends to come hand-in-hand with a busy schedule—drop-off and pick-up at school, playdates, work commitments, birthday celebrations, dentist appointments, shopping for groceries, and all that is in between. In the midst of it all, it is not surprising that mothers and fathers would prioritize taking care of their own needs last of all. But when they actually set aside time for themselves? Miracle of miracles.
The Shift from Reactive to Intentional
Life for many families is a reaction lifestyle—reacting to what the day brings instead of planning intentionally. Entering a parent’s name in the calendar—whether for a yoga class, haircut, or quiet time reading—means more than a scheduled space. It defines a mindset change: from being pulled thin to establishing boundaries.
Rather than always giving from an empty cup, giving time for nourishment for yourself means:
- Better emotional management during stressful times
- Additional energy for family events
- Stronger relationships based on mutual respect
There are no luxurious breaks or luxurious spas. It’s those small, conscious breaks that help the parents recharge and feel like individual beings.
Making Room in a Cluttered Home
It may come and go. Between pre-bed routines and early morning risings, how would a parent even start?
The solution is structure. While scheduled pediatric appointments and school dropoffs, personal time deserves no less. It needn’t entail isolation. A stroll around the ‘hood while the children run their scooters, writing a journal for ten minutes at night, a Saturday morning community class at the potter’s wheel—such respites matter.
Here, technology can help out as well. Practice management software has not only become a staple for me and many of us for practice use, but also for home and personal obligations. Common calendars, reminders, and auto-scheduling help bring a level of routine that means personal time becomes an option once again.
The Guilt That Comes With It
Guilt is the very first emotion that surfaces when a parent has made a choice that places him or herself at center stage. Feeling selfish or indulged can be a deterrent. Reframing, though, is a necessity.
The well-rested, mentally focused parent contributes more to their family than a parent who is run down. Children learn by observing their caregivers set boundaries and balance. They learn that one’s own well-being isn’t okay—but necessary.
The release of guilt doesn’t happen immediately. It develops over time for every positive that arises out of a “yes” for self-care and a “no” for chronic overextension.
Rediscovering Interests Beyond the Family
When space is finally created, a few mothers realize that they’ve lost touch with what’s most important. That’s fine. A decade or more of taking care of everyone else can keep hobbies, dreams, and even well-being in the background.
Reconnecting would begin in minuscule steps:
- Re-joining a book club
- Just for practice for learning a new recipe
- Scheduling a nonurgent visit that has been delayed for years
Such as booking an appointment with a tooth whitening dentist—something that has possibly been delayed over and over—can remind one that doing tiny acts for one’s own well-being can improve confidence and promote more reliable focus upon one’s own well-being.
When a “Yes” for Me Is a “No” for Overload
Scheduling a name into the family calendar is not selfish. It’s preservation. It’s a proclamation that the individual responsible for everyone else’s time and needs gets space, too.
Even a half-hour a week can be a game-changer. It creates momentum by nudging parents, incrementally yet powerfully, one calendar invitation at a time, toward reclaiming a center.
And perhaps the best of it all? Children seeing their own mothers and fathers respect rest and playtime will learn early in life how crucial it is for them to prioritize their own well-being. It plants seeds of fortitude, self-awareness, and empathy that bloom for a very long time.
